If sunlight was floating like streams of honey
it still could not match your smile

If seaweed was made of gossamer lace
it still could not amount to your sweet caress

If clouds were as gentle as a butterfly's kiss
they could not compete with your tender lips

And even if I would lay in a bed of flowers
in the cottonwood's shade
this could not keep up
with that single moment
when I hold you in my arms

Together we walk through this garden of love
We dance on its funeral pyre
And I swear by the stars up above
that you are my only desire

Love was like a pastel
in those days of yore
So delicate and flimsy
Feathery colours
like summer clouds in a Devon sky

But the first rain of autumn
made its colours run
and the tempests tore
our slender sketches apart

Thereafter I travelled
so far and long
in search of what was lost
until I realised
that pastels cannot withstand
the storms of life

These days
we are carving our love
into a statue of wood
More strenuous
than working just with brush and easel
Addlepated by its timberish tenaciousness
and irritated by splinters
few and far between

Though unfinished yet
this solid sculpture of ours
is rooted deep in fertile soil
thus we won't have
to shield it timidly
from gale and hail
because we can rely
on its artistry and firmness instead

4th July 2006, Irish Castle, Nuremberg
16th December 2006, Pegnitzbühne e. V., Nuremberg

Keep in mind that the aforementioned gigs are Folkstone Gang- and not Antichrisis-gigs, which means that only a few Antichrisis songs will be performed. Nevertheless I'm sure you'll enjoy a very special evening with good songs and a very "folky" atmosphere!

Those of you just interested in Antichrisis will have the chance to see Antichrisis Unplugged (i. e. Katja and Sid only) live on stage at the Balladentag on 24th September 2006 at the Kofferfabrik Fuerth. This event is organised by Florian Baessler, a highly appreciated singer/guitarist, and it'll give you an overview of the singer/songwrighter-scene of my home area. As it is some kind of festival, the playing time of each artist/band is restricted to 15 minutes, notwithstanding Katja and me will play a fine selection of old and new Antichrisis-material (By the way: Blindflug Unplugged will also appear on stage). Please note that Antichrisis Unplugged will already start at 3:20 pm; admission is free!

I guess that's all for today: A very merry Beltane to all of you and many thanks for your loyal support! And maybe I'll be seeing you at some of the aforementioned gigs.

Winter's last stand
adamantly defending his claim
but nevertheless
preparing to abdicate
as the first rays of sunlight
herald spring's advent

What a long dark winter it was:
Its petrifying coldness
stalling my heart

Germinating like early snowdrops
breaking the glacial deadlock
and memories fade like morning dew
leaving tracery on a frosted window

But with the light of a new day
only runlets remain
and the reminiscence of an afterglow
is all that is left
as I set out for higher grounds

Of course I've made mistakes
insignificant ones
as well as fatal ones

but then
I'm only human:

I believed when I should have doubted
I dared when I should have been cautious
I've been chasing dreams when I should have come down to earth
I got weak when I should have shown strength
I did surrender when I should have fought on

But there were also
a few things I did right:

I believed though I had my doubts
I dared where no one else had the heart
I tried to live up to my dreams even if it meant to overcome sanity and reason
I could be weak where everybody else expected me to wear a disguise
I did let go when hanging on would have caused nothing but pain and devastation

and even if I should fail again
it'll be with dignity

but then
who gives a damn?

Staying awake all night
telling jokes and anecdotes
talking about
faith and music
love and death

I wish I could deal with all this
the way you do:
Waiting for a new day dawning
while relying on your friends
to help you make it through the night

And as much as I
enjoy your company
and our hopes and dreams and visions
I'm afraid it won't suffice
to accompany me through this darkness
and dry these cold and bitter tears

Milton was right
there is such thing as paradise lost
and once you've lost it
there is no going back
no more!

Snow-padded meadows
lie cold, clear and untouched;
An ultimate emptiness
like a world created anew

Out of this scantiness
arises new life
once springtime has come again

But how can I think of spring
when I don't even know
how to survive another winter?

What remains
of a heart
that has been torn and shattered for too long?

What remains
and what for shall we endure
when pain is everything we've gained?

What remains
when everything we ever wanted
turns out to be just an illusion of love?

What remains
of hope and confidence
when our last resort has been carried?

What remains
and who will stand
when there's nothing left to fight for?

What remains
when we have to realize
that some wounds never heal?

What remains
when the memory of you withers
and my last song fades away?

What remains
when the last ray of sunlight disappears
and we're left in the darkness?

All that remains
like a whisper in the wind
is the legacy

Back on the stage again
Mister Tough Guy,
Mister Sid,
all dressed in black

With a body language saying
"Don't mess with me
or it'll be
five knuckle shuffle time!"

With a gaze
like a warning sign:
"Keep out!"
in capital letters!

Roaring like a beast
a red hot pumping power-pack
pale with fright inside
that someone out there
might detect
how fragile I am

But I have to protect
this heart of mine
so painstakingly
because you almost killed it!

Getting divorced today
almost 3 years after we parted
was a piece of cake

Getting you banned
from my mind and dreams
was the hardest part
and took so much longer
than it took the judge
to declare our marriage
as being dissolved

Quite a few things in my life
have turned out fine
since you were gone;
Some went even better
than I would have wanted them
without you

But I still haven't found
the peace of heart
and bliss that I felt
when you lay in my arms

All of a sudden
my life has turned
into one of Bruce's sad songs:

"I had a job, I had a girl
I had something going, mister, in this world"

"Our love has fallen around us like we said it never could
We saw it happen to all the others but to us it never would
Well how could something so bad, darling,
come from something that was so good?"

"Now those memories come back to haunt me
they haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse?"

He also wrote some wonderful love songs like:

"Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me"

But I suppose he didn't write these lines about the both of us

Fireworks paint the sky
with sparkling flowers of light
while I stand alone
amongst the cheering crowd

Someone's tapping on my shoulder
"Happy new year, mate!" he bawls
Another one shakes my hand,
and there's bear hugs and kisses

Of course they wish me well
"May all your wishes come true!"

Funny - but how could they know
that there's just one wish left
in the fathomless abyss
of my heart?